17.2 No Tea for Mama When the Brass Bulls Charge!

SESSION DATE: October 03, 2026
PRESENT: Kakariki, Kemurial, Zhanis, Tobias

Deep Dive

![[17.2 No Tea for Mama When the Brass Bulls Charge!.mp4]]

Adventure Photos

Adventure Song & Lyrics

![[No Tea for Mama When the Brass Bulls Charge.mp4]]

World Anvil Journal

Oh-ho-ho! The catacombs are full of so many crazy surprises!

We didn't even need a nap after squishing the six-armed snake-lady! We felt so brave and strong, so Kakariki said, "Keep going! Keep going!" and we marched right down the dark western stone hallway!

The Giant Floating Eye-Skull!

Kemurial picked a secret locked door—click-clack!—and inside the room was a GIANT cyclops skull buried in the dirt... BUT THEN! Rising up right behind it was a massive, scary FLOATING EYE-SKULL monster with creepy glowing peepers all over it!

• It tried to shoot weird magic beams at Zhanis to make her sleep and freeze up, but Zhanis was too tough!

• Kemurial used his zoomy misty-step magic and slashed it with his super-duper shiny scimitar—SLASH-CRUNCH!

• Tobias blasted it with a giant glowing force-beam!

• Friar Karl summoned a big shiny holy guardian, and Zhanis blasted the whole room with a giant beam of blinding radiant light!

• Kakariki took aim—PEW-PEW!—and Blaze flew up like a fiery rocket, chomping down with a huge CRITICAL bite!

Before the floating skull could even bite us back, Blaze's fiery wound burnt it up into ash! BOOM! Down it went! We checked the room and found a super fancy Widow's Tea set! (It's a tricky magic teapot that paralyzes anyone who drinks the first cup... Kakariki will NOT offer that tea to Mama!)

The Embalming Room & Tobias’s Mind-Trick!

We kept creeping through the dark stone halls. Tobias put a fiery protective shield on Kemurial and made a dark smoke-cloud inside the next room.

When we opened the door, mean pale-skinned wight warriors and a creepy floating wraith tried to jump out at us! But Team Gilded Iron had a super sneaky choke-point!

• Kakariki and Zhanis readied their sling-shots and radiant spells!

• When a wight tried to step through, Blaze chomped him and Zhanis blasted him with holy ringing bells!

• The sneaky wraith tried to hide inside the stone walls to touch Friar Karl, but Tobias used his awesome brain-magic—WHOOSH!—and TELEPORTED the wraith right into the middle of all of us!

• Kakariki went PEW! with a magic stone and squished the wraith instantly!

After cleaning out the bad guys, Tobias found a loose blue stone tile on the wall. He pushed it—CLICK!—and a secret door slid open into a blue-tiled embalming room!

Metal Bulls & The Big Stink!

Zhanis opened the next door and went "Ewwww!" because it smelled like super-duper rotten eggs and ancient trash!

Inside were mean ghast monsters and three GIANT BRAZEN METAL BULL STATUES! Suddenly, the metal bulls came to life with red glowing eyes and fiery smoke pouring out of their noses!

• Tobias used his brain-magic to make all the monsters super scared of Kemurial!

• Tobias used a spatial-jaunt spell to TELEPORT Blaze right into the middle of the room! Blaze bit a ghast and knocked him flat on his bottom!

• Zhanis drank a zoomy speed potion and summoned a GIANT ring of whirling radiant angel-blades that chopped through all the ghasts!

THEN THE CRAZIEST THING HAPPENED! One of the giant metal bulls did a fiery smelting charge right across the room... AND SWALLOWED ZHANIS WHOLE INSIDE ITS FLAMING BELLY! Eeeek!

The metal bull ran down the hallway with Zhanis trapped inside, pouring super hot fire-aura all over Kakariki, Tobias, and Friar Karl! The heat was so intense it broke Kakariki’s zoomy speed spell, making Kakariki super dizzy and out of breath for a second!

But Zhanis is a hero! She blasted her way from the inside with her radiant angel-blades while Tobias mind-stabbed the last bull from afar! Blaze gave a big final bite—CRUNCH!—and all three metal bulls crashed down into scrap metal! Zhanis popped out safe and sound! Hooray!

Finding Poor Ulrika-Friend...

In the back of the metal bull room was a big ornate sarcophagus with swirling patterns. Blaze and Kemurial helped push the heavy lid off... and Kakariki’s mouth went wide open!

It wasn't a monster inside... IT WAS ULRIKA-FRIEND!

She was chained up inside the sarcophagus, but... something terrible happened to her. She had sharp vampire fangs and glowing red eyes! We woke her up before the bad ritual was finished, so she isn't a full evil vampire, but she has scary vampire traits now.

Poor Felix is going to be so sad, but we saved her life! Now we have to figure out how to keep her safe, find a nice healer or minder to look after her, and keep searching for the ancient reliquary artifact she came down here to find!

Kakariki gave Blaze a big hug for being the bravest fire-dog ever.

No naps yet—we have a friend to protect! Yes, yes!

Private Notes

• We briefly discuss resting, but we're all good, so we continue.
• We head west down the corridor we have yet to explore. Kemurial comes across and door and inspects it for traps. It's locked, but doesn't seem to be trapped. He tries to pick the lock, and does successfully.
• Kemurial opens the door. A massive cyclopean skull is buried in the dirt floor. What's more important is the skull-looking thing that floats up from behind the skull. INITIATIVE!!!

  • Round 1

    • Death Tyrant - Multiattack Zhanis with three Eye Rays, those rays being a Charm Ray, a Sleep Ray, and a Paralyzing Ray. Ruh roh. She's immune to Charmed from Mind Blank, she makes her save on the Sleep Ray, and saves on the Paralyzing Ray as well. Phew! Then it moves forward and uses Bonus Action Negative Energy Cone. Creatures caught in the cone can't regain hit points until the Death Tyrant's next turn, and any humanoid bodies are immediately raised as Zombies under its control. Oof!
    • Kemurial - Casts Misty Step as a Bonus Action, then uses Sacred Weapon and attacks the Death Tyrant with his Vicious Elemental Foresight Scimitar which hits, and the damage is MAXED because it's the first time he's hit it, and he adds Strike of the Giants to do even more damage! Its immune to the Prone condition, but the damage goes through! Second attack also hits, doing some decent damage. At the end of his turn, the Death Tyrant uses a Legendary Action to use Chomp, making two bite attacks at Kemurial, missing both times.
    • Tobias - Manifests Beam Gaze at the Death Tyrant, and it fails its save, so it takes some Force damage, and all attack rolls against it have Advantage! Legendary Action to Glare at Kemurial, casting a Slowing Ray at him. Kemurial makes his save for half damage, and isn't Slowed.
    • Friar Karl - Moves up and casts Guardian of Faith near the Death Tyrant. It fails its save, taking all 20 damage from this round of damage. Legendary Action to Glare at Friar Karl, using a Fear Ray. Friar Karl makes his save, taking half damage and isn't Feared.
    • Zhanis - Casts a 9th Level Burning Radiance at the Death Tyrant, who fails its save, but uses a Legendary Resistance to succeed instead, taking half damage.
    • Kakariki - Sends Blaze up to the Death Tyrant, Kakariki moves up a bit just enough to see it, makes two attacks using True Strike. FIrst attack misses, second attack hits. Wrath of the Pack to allow Blaze to make an extra attack, which CRITs! Blaze's own attack also hits. Uses Hellish Wound to wound him each turn.

  • Round 2

    • Death Tyrant - Starts next to the Guardian of Faith, saves, taking 10 damage instead. Its Hellish Wound deals enough damage to kill it!
  • Combat over.
• We check for loot. We find Widow's Tea, which is a devious tea set that corrupts the first cup of tea. The creature who drinks from that first cup gets Paralyzed unless they make a save, taking damage in the process. Interesting!
• We make our way south and decide to go ahead and encounter them. Tobias goes up the stairs across from the door, manifests Caress of Fire on Kemurial making the first time each creature attacks him take fire damage, and Readies his manifestation of the Smoke Screen ability he used in the vampire lady fight from before.
• Kemurial opens the door, and Tobias's Readied action goes off. Everything inside except two creatures fail their saves. INITIATIVE!!!

  • Round 1

    • Tobias - Manifests Psionic Bolt, hitting and taking out one zombie.
    • Kemurial - Gets ready to close the door.
    • Kakariki - Readies an Action for Blaze to attack the first enemy that comes within his range.
    • Friar Karl - Orison on Zhanis and Tobias.
    • Zhanis - Readies Toll the Dead for the first enemy she can see. She thinks we should leave the door open since we have them in a choke point. Not a bad idea.
    • Wight - Moves into range. Kemurial chooses to heed Zhanis's advice and doesn't shut the door. Blaze's Reaction goes off, and his bite hits, and Kakariki applies a Hellish Wound on it. Then Zhanis's Reaction goes off, the Wight fails its save on Toll the Dead. The Wight is already looking very close to death (again). The Wight attacks Kemurial with its Necrotic Sword, which would've crit, but Kemurial can't be crit thanks to his Adamantine armor. It still hits though. Because of Kemurial's Caress of Fire, it takes a bit of damage. Second attack is at Zhanis, which misses.
    • Wraith - Takes some damage from the Smoke Screen, then moves through the wall behind Kemurial to use Life Drain against him. Kemurial uses Shield to make it miss. It then moves back through the wall again out of sight.
    • Wight - Takes damage from the Smoke Screen and moves up to the door, attacks Zhanis twice with its Necrotic Bow, missing both shots.

  • Round 2

    • Tobias - Manifests Incinerate at the door. Both Wights at the door fail their saves, killing one of them. Nice! Puts Glimpse on Kemurial, which makes the next attack against him have Disadvantage.
    • Kemurial - True Strike on the Wight at the door, and hits. Bonus Action to cast Divine Smite for some additional Radiant damage.
    • Kakariki - Attacks the remaining Wight with True Strike, killing it. Has Blaze move north where we last saw the Wraith and has him Ready his Action to attack the Wraith should it reappear within his range.
    • Friar Karl - Unsure, wasn't watching.
    • Zhanis - Readies her Action to cast Toll the Dead on the Wraith should it appear where she can see it and within her range.
    • Wraith - Pops out behind Friar Karl. Zhanis's Toll the Dead goes off, but it saves. It attacks Friar Karl and would've hit, but Friar Karl uses Shield to prevent it.

  • Round 3

    • Tobias - Drops Concentration on Smoke Screen, then moves south into the portcullis room and tells us the Wraith is in that room. He manifests Elsewhere on the Wraith, which fails its save, and teleports it to just in front of the door so we can all wail on it. And its speed becomes zero until the start of Tobias's next turn!
    • Kemurial - Uses Sacred Weapon and attacks the Wraith, hitting. Second attack misses. Uses Divine Smite
    • Kakariki - Blaze pushes past the Wraith, then Kakariki fires with True Strike and kills the Wraith.
  • Combat over.
• We move into the room and look for anything worth our while. Kemurial finds that the western wall looks a bit "off" about it. Tobias goes in for a closer look. This is the embalming room. Blue stone tiles adorn the chamber. A table and smaller table hold various tools used in embalming. A drain opens to dark water flowing beneath the chamber floor. The wall, however, is a secret door. Tobias pushes a loose stone, which depresses into the wall, revealing the opening. Kakariki Readies a shot in case there are any enemies beyond the wall. We just see a small corridor instead which leads to another door.
• Zhanis goes in. Her senses detect a rancid odor that nearly makes her nauseous immediately. Zhanis covers her nose and mouth while checking the door for traps. It's locked, but not trapped. Kakariki Readies another action to fire on enemies beyond the door should there be any he can see. Zhanis opens the door.
• Three iron statues are inside. The lid of a sarcophagus is etched with strange swirling patterns. There are some creatures inside. Zhanis needs to save against the Stench. She saves, and is immune to its effect. Kakariki sees an enemy, so his Readied Action goes off, hitting the first creature he sees. INITIATIVE!!!

  • Round 1

    • Ghast - Attemps to move past Zhanis, but she stops it from doing so. Attacks Zhanis with claws, missing.
    • Tobias - Moves into the embalming room next to Kakariki and touches Blaze with a Jaunt manifestation, teleporting Blaze into the room with the enemies. Uses Minor Acceleration on Kemurial. Blaze makes his save on the Stench.
    • Kakariki - Prevents Blaze's Rampage successfully. True Strike attack on the first Ghast, hitting and killing it. Second attack at the one behind it, hitting and killing it as well. Has Blaze attack a third Ghast, which hits. Then uses Bring Them Down to try to knock them Prone. It fails its save, so falls Prone. Nice!
    • Friar Karl - Orison.
    • Ghast - Tries to Overrun Zhanis, and does, provoking from Blaze and Zhanis. Blaze's attack hits, and Zhanis's also hits, dealing maximized damaged to it since it's Undead, and kills it! Another Ghast tries to attack Blaze, and misses.
    • Zhanis - Toll the Dead on the Ghast we haven't hit yet. It fails, taking some damage. She uses her bracers to cast it again, but it saves this time.
    • Kemurial - Toll the Dead on the same one, it fails its save, taking some damage. Moves up to Zhanis, saves on the Stench.
    • Ghast Gravecaller - Moves up to Zhanis and attacks her, hitting, but she Shields it. Then the bull statues in the room come alive. Oh boy.

  • Round 2

    • Tobias - Manifests Icon of Fear, and chooses Kemurial for them all to be afraid of. Then backs up.
    • Brazen Gorgon - Uses Smelting Charge to move laterally toward Blaze, not getting closer to Kemurial since this Gorgon is Frightened of him, Blaze saves. Flame Aura does nothing to Blaze.
    • Kakariki - Tries to prevent Blaze's Rampage, but is unable. Blaze immediately attacks the Gorgon that attacked him and hits. His Ferocity drops to zero. Kakariki casts Haste on himself, then uses a Bonus Action to use Magic Stone to give himself some more magic ammo, then uses his Hasted Action to make an attack at the same Gorgon, just missing.
    • Brazen Gorgon - Smelting Charge at Zhanis who makes her save. Nothing happens. Fails its save on the Fear.
    • Friar Karl - Casts Spirit Guardian in the already-crowded room. Because the room is so full of enemies right now, it immediately uses up all its damage and disappears lol.
    • Ghast - Attacks Kemurial and misses. But then it makes its save on the Fear and is no longer Frightened.
    • Zhanis - Casts 5th Level Spirit Guardians, which is big enough to hit everything in this small room. All but one of the Gorgons fails their save.
    • Kemurial - Attacks the Ghast Gravecaller with his scimitar, which hits for max damage. Second attack also hits, doing good damage as well, enough to kill it. Bonus Action Font of Magic to get some Sorcery Points.
    • Brazen Gorgon - Attacks at Blaze. First one crits, but most of it is Fire damage, which Blaze is immune to. Nice! Second one misses.

  • Round 3

    • Tobias - Manifests 5th Order Gravitational Collapse on the Gorgon on the west side of the room. It saves, but Tobias wants him to fail, so he uses Overwhelming Power, taking six Strain in the process, but making him reroll at a -5 penalty, and it fails this time! Awesome. He's also Prone.
    • Brazen Gorgon - Remains Prone and attacks Blaze at Disadvantage. The first attack misses, but the second hits. Fails his Fear save, and ends turn inside of Spirit Guardians, succeeds on that save, taking half that damage.
    • Kakariki - Prevents Blaze's Rampage successfully, then takes aim at the Gorgon in the northeast corner of the room. Hits. Wrath of the Pack. Blaze hits, knocks him Prone. Attack on the southern Gorgon hits, Wrath of the Pack, Blaze hits, knocks him Prone too. Hasted Attack on the western Gorgon misses. Blaze attacks him and misses too.
    • Brazen Gorgon - Attacks Blaze twice, hitting once. Fails on the Fear save and Spirit Guardians.
    • Friar Karl - Casts Guardian of Faith again. Does lots of damage again, but doesn't immediately disappear again.
    • Ghast - Dies to Spirit Guardians before it can do anything.
    • Zhanis - Quaffs a Potion of Speed. Moves away then back in to trigger Spirit Guardians on everything. The three Gorgons all fail their saves, doing lots of damage. Then casts Toll the Dead on a Gorgon, and it fails its save. Nice.
    • Kemurial - Toll the Dead, the Gorgon fails its save.
    • Brazen Gorgon - Stands up and takes damage from Guardian of Faith. It's gone now. Smelting Charge through us all. Zhanis fails her save. She takes damage, makes her Concentration check, and is now swallowed by the Gorgon, Grappled and Restrained. Oh boy. It moves through Blaze's space, who saves, and runs down the eastern hallway toward and through Kemurial, who fails, taking damage and would get knocked Prone, but he's immune to Prone. The Gorgon stops near Kakariki, Friar Karl and Tobias causes us to take damage from its Fire Aura. This causes Kakariki to drop Concentration on Haste, which in turn causes Kakariki to be Incapacitated for one turn thanks to Haste's Lethargy effect when it ends. Then the Gorgon ends its turn and dies to the Spirit Guardians damage.

  • Round 4

    • Tobias - Manifests Psychic Stab at the far Gorgon, killing it.
    • Kakariki - Blaze Rampages and Kakariki can't do anything about it thanks to being Incapacitated. Blaze attacks the last Gorgon and kills it.
  • Combat over.
• We open the sarcophagus and discover Ulrika. However, she is chained inside the sarcophagus, and clearly has been bitten by a vampire. Her eyes are completely red. We've interrupted her sleep, so we've prevented her transformation into a full-blown vampire. However, she will forever have the traits of a vampire spawn. We can attempt to keep her alive and seek out a minder who can keep an eye on her at all times. We can let her free and tell her to run. We can restrain her and take her to get seen by someone like a cleric or another vampire. Or we could choose to kill her, putting her out of her misery and ensuring the safety of everyone around her. Kakariki wonders if we should take her to the Duke and get his thoughts. We still need to look for the artifact that she was after as well.

That's it for this session!

Adventure Loot

• Widow's Tea (4000g)

Loose Gold Found

Total:
Converted:
Split:

• Gold has been split